End of the Month Randomness,The Myth of SEO, Naked and Famous IV

This month has been kind of tough.  Couple setbacks, a gnarly Los Angeles parking ticket for being on the wrong side during a street cleaning, an unholy amount of rejection letters from submissions, lots of due paying in a new city.  Plus, my wife made me join a bowling league and despite my awesome and intimidating bowling handle (FACE DESTROYER) I am something way less than an awesome and intimidating bowler.  This is just how it goes sometimes.

I’ve really been trying to keep up with blogging.  Its been an interesting place to post my lowbrow comments on pop culture, promote my site, connect with people in the ether.  I also get some really amazing statistical info on what brings people to the blog.  Here are a few screen grabs:

I’d like to call attention to the fact that none of these people are searching for anything relevant to my posts, with the exception of Nettie, and that despite the laser-accurate tags I post at the end of each blog…people just want to see nude girls dressed as animals (despite my pleas for a moratorium on this practice) and Anna Nicole Smith Naked.  This confirms what I have feared all along: SEO is a complete ruse.  The SEO consultant you’ve hired for an ungodly amount of money is sitting at his desk playing Farmville and sneaking the term “naked bewbs” into your meta data.  Suddenly, your analytics are BANGING!  How did my site go from 5 visitors a week to 400?  Bewbs.  Every time.  I suspect there are a lot of disappointed people who show up looking for “indian girl vagina.”  Sorry to let you down, bro.

Lastly, I was emailed this fantastic Justin Bieber notebook photo by Rebekka M., who, while shopping for office supplies, stumbled upon on of my favorite things ever…The Celebrity Endorsement Of A Thing Which Has Nothing To Do With Your Celebrity.

Lisa Frank'ed

Notebook manufacturer’s of the world: I am offering this face (mine) to grace your notebooks for the delight of 14 year old girls and 55 year old women everywhere!  Lisa Frank, please get in touch.  I’m not going to be this pretty forever.


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2 thoughts on “End of the Month Randomness,The Myth of SEO, Naked and Famous IV

  1. Haha that is a great article. I gotta write a blog post and mention this article in it on my site about SEO and the nude girls and see how many hits that page gets. Haha I’m still laughing at that.

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