This is How You Make Mace.
Buffalo Popcorn Seasoning.
I don’t eat chicken that often, or ever, really, so I’ve missed out on the whole hot wings thing, and, because of that, never really got into the flavor of “Buffalo.” Until, our favorite bar started serving buffalo tofu and bleu cheese, and then I was hooked. A few weeks later , I ordered some tater tots from a food truck, buffalo style, also served with a healthy side of bleu cheese. And since then, I’ve been a fiend.
Meanwhile, I keep seeing this bottle of Buffalo Popcorn Seasoning at Target. I keep circling it, picking it up, setting it back down. It was kind of expensive, being that it is mostly salt and cornstarch, but Dana pointed out that it would last forever because we’d only put it on popcorn and we don’t eat popcorn that much. We buy the bottle. Two nights ago, movie in the DVD player, eager to try out a new thing to put buffalo seasoning on, we pop a bag of popcorn and apply a liberal amount of the
seasoning on top. And my eyes water a little bit. But I love spicy food, and I have really high tolerance, so I’m not worried…sometimes, you just have to get over that first shock and you’re fine. On the way to the couch, I put a few pieces in my mouth and the spices hit the back of my throat and I can’t stop coughing. A fluke, I’m thinking. A few more pieces and I’m crying. The seasoning is so powder-fine that it goes into your nose from your throat, should you be so foolish as to breathe while eating. Its practically a mist! So I’m tearing up, mucous going crazy, throat on fire, trying to eat this popcorn that I have waited so long to try, but it is such a punishing experience that we throw it out. I did however find out that if I held my breath, put it in my mouth, chewed very quickly (WITHOUT BREATHING!) and swallowed, it was almost not miserable.
I’m still in love with buffalo, though. You can’t take that away from me.